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Friend-like Creations

The snail

The snail

Age: 3

The snail was born from the pile of dust in and behind Ondine's first computer. He can shapeshift, talk, and change the size of ordinary household objects, all with some bizarre form of dust magic. He does not have a name.



Age: ?

The snail met Simone in the little garden patch outside of Ondine's trailer. She is also a sentient giant talking snail, but it is unknown if she can shapeshift and manipulate matter in the same way he can. She is also unafraid of strangers, unlike the snail.

Mr. Sock-Zombie

Mr. Sock-Zombie

Age: 1

Mr. Sock-Zombie likes brains. braaaains brains brains braaaaaains. braaains.



Age: ?

Simon is a giant multicolored talking ant that was in Ondine's dream once. He doesn't actually exist in her universe. ...does he?


A Monkey Is Small And Like A Peach

Age: N/A

AMISALAP is the comic Ondine does. Its main character is named Jenny. Jenny likes to throw people out windows.

Eta Mu Pi

Eta Mu Pi is the cultfraternity that claimed Ondine as a prophesied liason to the "normal" world. This all-male, exceedingly-geeky group is hoping that she can help them understand normal girls better, and thus secure girlfriends.

Boy, are they ever gonna be disappointed.

HMpi's president

President of HMpi (name unknown)

The Shaded One

The Shaded One is the real power in HMpi; his prophesies are undisputed.

Ensign Crusher

Ensign Crusher is the member of HMpi who brought Ondine to the attention of their order.


Hickey is one of the Dans. He speaks very seldom.


Miller is another one of the Dans. He sunburns easily.


Weinkauf is the third and last Dan. He is seldom without his dice.

The Hologram

Presumably the Hologram isn't really dead, but then, one never knows.


Dave... has freckles. Yes.

Hobbit Steve

Hobbit Steve has the misfortune to be a short, curly-haired geek who does not like Tolkien.

Other HMpi Members

Other, as yet unnamed members.